Semester Conclusion

So the semester is coming to an end. I learned so much about Veterans and hospice care. Even thought the semester is ending, my work with Comfort Care has just begun. This has been a wonderful experience and I don't think I could have found a better partner to complete my project with. I have attached a copy of my poster that will be printed and hung in the UAB School of Nursing building. Let me know what you think. I hope you all have enjoyed my journey as much as I have.

 

Happy Veterans Day 2012!!

I did go do a little work in preparation for the Veterans Day Parade this upcoming Monday. Other than that, this week I was able to go sit with a patient that was dying from End Stage Alzheimer's Disease. This was to provide relief to his caregiver so that she was able to get out and vote on Tuesday.

This is just shy of Veterans Day being that it is Saturday night. But I would like to take the time to thank all those who have served or are serving our wonderful country in some form or fashion whether that is through military service or our police officers and firemen. As I have stated before, that is a sacrifice that doesn't have to be made but it is what is required in order for each and every one of us to continue to live in freedom.

 

As you all know, I will be participating in the Veterans Day Parade on Monday. I am so excited to experience that. It will be the first Veterans Day Parade that I have ever been to, much less that I have been a part of.

 

 

I will leave you with a beautiful video that reminds every one of us of our freedom each time that we hear it. I hate that it is at a football game because it isn't the best quality. It is the National Anthem performed by the combined choirs of our Armed Forces. Again, I extend my thanks for your service!

 

 

I will update you all on my parade experience next week. Until then, I hope that you all have a wonderful week! 

Visiting Veterans

This week was a quite productive week. This week I visited with two households, three different Veterans. I will tell you a little about them.

My first visit was with a U.S. Navy Veteran. He served during Vietnam on several ships. He has Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease. His breathing is continuously labored with an ever decreasing activity tolerance. I was able to pin him with a We Honor Veterans flag pin. I also presented him with a certificate of appreciation. This was all to thank him for his service to our country.

Next I visited with a couple whom both served in the U.S. Air Force. They served during WWII. They are both in their 90's and have been married for 67 years. She was a nurse while he was a fighter pilot. I was able to hear so many stories about his flight time and her service on hospital ships. In a few weeks when their family is able to attend, I plan on visiting them to pin them and present them with certificates of appreciation.

Every job is an important one no matter how small some might view it. Any enlistment in the armed forces, no matter the length is a sacrifice which didn't have to be made. I can only imagine what it must feel like serving during such a pivotal time in American history.

That was the basics for this week. I hope to have more exciting news for you next week wth even more patient visits. Until then, have a good week!

Exciting News.. Upcoming Veteran Visits!!

This week was a rather slow week as far as my project goes because I have a ton of school activities that require more of my time and attention.  Don't be disappointed though because I did get to go out and work on some things at Comfort Care Hospice this week.  We are still completing preparation for our participation in the 2012 Veterans Day Parade.  I have also planned visits with two different patients this upcoming week.  One is with a U.S. Navy Veteran that is receiving hospice care.  I think my interest in meeting him mainly stems from my Navy background.  The other is with a couple. They are both U.S. Army Veterans, one of which is receiving hospice care.  They met during WWII when she was an Army nurse and he was a fighter pilot receiving care.  I am so excited to see what this week has in store for me as I continue to learn about the impact of hospice on our Veteran population!  I hope you will visit again after next week to see what my experiences entail. 

Productive week at Comfort Care Hospice of Pelham

This week I spent the majority of my time at Comfort Care Hospice making a brochure to recruit Veterans as volunteers. I will be handing these out at the Veterans Day Parade in Birmingham as well as when I visit the area VFW chapters. I attached a copy in my blog so that you all could tell me what you think. The color scheme may be slightly different but the information should be the same.

I never imagined when I started this project that I would find such a passion for my fellow Veterans with terminal illnesses. Not that I didn't feel connected to them already, because we will forever be one. But, this turned out to be more than I could have ever imagined or hoped for. Pride is something that runs deep and to me, once you have it, it never goes away. I will never forget the feeling I had in 2001 on August 17th, the day I graduated U.S. Navy bootcamp at 21 years old. I was standing in ranks for our graduation ceremony fighting back tears. These were not tears of sorrow but rather they were tears of pride and happiness. I am proud to be an American! I will forever be a U.S. Navy Sailor and that is something that can never be taken away. I will always have my shipmates (past, present, and future), a family of people that I belong to, a sense of accomplishment, and pride that runs through my entire body. Sometimes I joke around by saying, "I bleed red, white and blue". If that were possible, that is what you would see if you cut me open. I will forever be that person that gets chills and has to fight back tears every time she hears The Star Spangled Banner. For me, The Star Spangled Banner represents a sacrifice made; the blood, sweat and tears that have poured out of every servicemember (no matter the branch) in the process of keeping our country free. Some have paid the ultimate sacrifice when they lost their lives in the line of duty; a father/mother, son/daughter, brother/sister never made it home to the ones they loved. Some of the Veterans that were lucky enough to make it home to their friends/families and live their lives are now fighting a battle for the last time. It is a fight that will not be won; it will result in a loss of life.

These Veterans did all that was ever asked of them in serving our country. It is now our turn to serve our Veterans and ensure that no one Veteran ever has to die alone. I hope that you will join me!!

Comfort Care Hospice of Pelham is looking for Veteran Volunteers

What Not to Say to a Veteran

I had a pretty interesting week. I completed my orientation process with Comfort Care Hospice of Pelham and will soon get to meet some of my fellow Veterans. I have been doing a lot of reading and researching about Veterans and how I should interact with them. Not all Veterans are created equal and since I will be going out to visit with some Veterans, I wanted to get an idea of things I should or should not talk about. I know that most Veterans I will visit with hospice are suffering from terminal illnesses and are receiving end-of-life care. This is a time to be especially mindful of what I say as it may be one of my only opportunities to hear about their life experiences. I am excited to get out there and meet some Veterans that laid their lives on the line for me and every other American out there!

 

I hope that you all find this as interesting and helpful as I do! Remember that deployment experiences may be a very touchy or sensitive topic to a returning service member, so always be cognizant of what you are saying and how you ask the questions you ask. It is a privilege to hear what they have to say and they have chosen to tell their story to you. I hope you all will join me again next week to see where my project has taken me.

Since we all come in contact with Veterans from time to time and we are all curious as to their experiences, I have posted a few things that you should avoid talking about with returning military personnel. (http://www.operationwearehere.com/caringinsightsmilitarypersonnel.html)

 

Things you should avoid talking about with returning military personnel

These are general guidelines when interacting with a veteran and should not be considered absolutely true for every veteran. Every Soldier, Marine, Airman, or Sailor that has been deployed to Iraq, Afghanistan, Vietnam, Somalia or any other combat theater has had a different combat experience. How they deal with their experiences will vary depending upon age, culture, faith, gender, community support, and the presence of or lack of a family and/or social support system. A combat veteran is not the same person they were before being deployed, and how the civilian population interacts with them can either help or hinder their transition.

1. Did you kill any anyone?

It would seem that common sense would deem this an inappropriate question; however, this question is asked a lot. What purpose does this serve the individual asking to know this about the veteran?

2. What was the nastiest or most disgusting thing you saw over there?

If the veteran wants to share this kind of detail they might, but ONLY after trust has been established. However, the chance they will want to relive the details of those events, which might be very traumatic, could be slim to none.

3. Are you glad to be home?

Consider for a moment what these words could be asking: “Are you glad that you are no longer in a situation where you are getting shot at, missiles being fired at you on a regular basis, the threat of your vehicle being blown up every time you get in it, sand storms and 140 degree temperatures?” It is also important to be aware that the veteran’s homecoming was more traumatic than being at war. Some come home financially desolate because the person they trusted to take care of their finances spent ALL their money. Others come home thinking they will be welcomed by their spouse only to find they have been unfaithful, usually with someone close to them such as a brother and/or best friend, and they are being handed divorce papers.

4. How are you doing?

This question should really only be asked when you are willing to stay and listen to the answer. Most likely the veteran doesn’t know how they are doing and definitely may not know how to express it. It is okay not to know what to do with the answer because there isn’t anything you can say to fix it or make it better. Just being there so the veteran can debrief for just a moment can be enough.

5. Did you see the news…?

And then proceed to go on and share what gruesome thing that has just happened in Iraq/Afghanistan or how many Americans have been killed. The veteran has lived the news and doesn’t need to relive it through the present media and certainly does not need to hear about it. The war is personal to the veteran and most likely they know people still fighting and dying over there.

6. Do you feel guilty about what you had to do during the war?

Just about any combat veteran will have some measure of guilt. Those who make it home alive, although grateful, have survivor’s guilt. Those who participated in direct combat had to make decisions that ultimately resulted in taking human life, to include women and children. These individuals generally have tremendous guilt but may not know how to identify it let alone admit it.

7. Do you want to go get a drink?

This generally becomes a BIG problem later so do not be the one to help them start self-medicating and on the path to destruction with chemicals. Coffee is a much better addiction and easier to quit.

8. Do you want me to pray with you?

This should be automatic. You may not know what to pray for but the Holy Spirit knows what the veteran needs and will direct. And, the veteran may be very angry at God and prayer or the mention of God is the last thing they will find helpful or needed.

9. What do you think about the U.S. being over there and don’t you think we should get out?

It is not a good idea to bring up politics concerning the hell they were sent into and have just come out of. Their perspective, because of experience, is going to be very different than the average civilian getting information from CNN.

10. Do you think God could ever forgive you?
There are people out there who are extremely opposed to the war and blame the military for the destruction and loss of life they see on television. These individuals seem unable to distinguish between their politics and the individual soldier. The veteran will have some measure of guilt no matter what their job was, so do not make it worse by helping them along with the notion they can never be forgiven for the things they had to do to protect themselves and their battle buddies.

11. Did you see any dead bodies?

Again, if the veteran should want to share this very intimate detail of their deployment they might. However, this may occur after time but be prepared that they just will not share.

12. Do not tell a veteran that you understand what they are going through and then share a personal/unrelated story.

There really is no way to completely understand going to war unless you have been there. No experience you have had can come close to the stress, terror, guilt, and hell of war. However, God can use your experiences/trauma to extend compassion and empathy, which does not always require words. You don’t have to understand what they’ve been through, but to recognize this was something incredibly painful for them will show the veteran that you do care.

13. DO NOT, even in a joking manner, tell a veteran that they should be grateful they made it home alive, didn’t die, need to get over it, and be happy.

There is already a good chance that they wished they had been killed in action. Coming home is much more difficult than combat. The veteran knows what is expected during the heat of battle. They rely on training and the instinct to survive. There is no training manual for coming home and there is no debriefing that can fully prepare the veteran for how difficult it will be. As a result, many desire to go back to Iraq or Afghanistan because they know who they are and how to survive in that world. Back in the civilian world, feelings of helplessness are often overwhelming, and suicide seems to be the only option.

14. Do not, even if the intention is sincere, tell a veteran, “If you need anything just let me know”.

The veteran generally has no idea what they need let alone has the energy or strength to call someone for help. Many suffer through the frustration of having just come from commanding, fighting, and running on an unnatural level of adrenaline. If you see any need and you have the ability to meet that need don’t wait until they ask, do it!